I was discussing Talk Like a Pirate Day with a friend when my tang got tongueled around my eyeteeth and and I couldn't say what I was seeing. I started discussing "Talk Like a Picard Day" instead.
We laughed for a minute and then we both got suddenly quiet.
"Why not?" I asked.
"Make it so," he replied.
Talk Like Picard Day
The holiday shall be observed on September 28 to honor the premiere of Star Trek: The Next Generation and its captain, Jean-Luc Picard. This fan-created holiday celebrates leadership, civility, and a good cup of tea.
It's very simple; the idea is to gather friends and fans to adopt Picard's speech patterns for one day every year — in jest and appreciation.
Guidelines
- Keep it fun and respectful.
- Do not imply endorsement by or association with the official Star Trek brand.
- When using actor likeness or clips, verify fair use and licensing where necessary.
That's it. What more does there need to be?
The Tragic Origin Story
I was blessed to spend quite a lot of time with my father's mother - my Granny - while growing up. She taught me the right way to warm a baby bottle for my siblings, the right way to cook green beans, and the right way to speak to people if you wished to be heard.
She reinforced in me the love of reading instilled by my parents by opening up to me her entire library of books without holding anything back. She "accidentally" bought me comic books at the grocery store. She opened up my grandan's rolltop desk for me to sit at with my pencil and spiral-bound notebook and pen my own epics.
My grandmother let me watch whatever I wanted, as long as I was willing to let her watch it with me. I introduced her to He-Man and Masters of the Universe, G.I. Joe, Robotech, and Scooby-Doo. (Though I'm pretty sure now that she already knew all about them.)
She introduced me to professional wrestling, M*A*S*H*, Days of Our Lives ... and Star Trek.
I knew that Star Trek was my father's favorite TV show, what I didn't know was that his mother loved it first. When possible, they would watch it together when it originally aired. By that time, my father had already moved out and started a family of his own. When it was my turn, it was well into syndication.
My Granny let me do most anything I wished when I was with her - so long as my chores were done first and she didn't need help with the smaller children. But when it was time for Star Trek, she always came and got me so we could watch it together.
In the summer of 1987, my parents moved us from Texas to Indiana so they could start a new church in the Ohio River Valley. My father worked for a local manufacturing plant during the week. When the newspaper announced that a new Star Trek show - Star Trek: the Next Generation - would premier in September, my father purchased a VCR.
Star Trek: TNG became appointment viewing for my family from that time forward. We would all gather in front of the television to watch Star Trek - VCR recording, with one or another of the kids intently monitoring the commercials so we could use the pause button to delete them from our tape.
Those video cassettes saw every bit as much wear as our recordings of Star Wars and Indiana Jones.
When "All Good Things" ended the original broadcasts in May of 1994, I was away at university, but my father and siblings dutifully recorded it onto our now-complete collection of tapes.
"Star Trek: Generations" rolled into theaters at the end of 1994, and my father drove to see me at university so we could go watch the movie together.
I love Star Trek. To this day, I still address my father as "Captain," though he no longer calls me "Mr. Spock."
There is a lot to love about Star Trek. It's optimistic and respectful. It presents characters who behave in mature ways, with reasoned responses. It aspires to be and say something larger than itself. It's not perfect, but what is?
My father had a lot of doubt about this new guy - this Captain Jean-Luc Picard. Would he be able to measure up to James Kirk? I don't remember exactly when he made up his mind, but I distinctly remember my father remarking in an off-hand kind of way, "This is thinking man's show."
If there is a tragic backstory here, it is that I never actually got to watch Star Trek: the Next Generation with my Granny. We lived too far apart while it was on the air, and when we were together, there were always other things that were more important than television.
But that's okay. We did nothing wrong, nor did we lose anything thereby. This is life. It brings us joy and grief. It brings us opportunity and regret. Our biggest responsibility to the time we are given is to make the most of it.
So for one day a year - ideally for every day of the year, but at least for this one - take a moment to think, speak, and act in the best tradition of a Starfleet Captain, be it Kirk, Picard, Sisko, Janeway, or any of the growing cast of characters.
Are you ready to begin?
Engage.
-Winston Crutchfield